Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize