Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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