I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I love you. Go after that dick
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
