dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
