thus making me awesome and them whores
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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