Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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