I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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