Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
