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i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Randomize
