Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
