you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You're like the curious george of whores
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
