I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
