Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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