Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
