I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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