White coat. Heels.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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