i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize