Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
