The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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