I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
