so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
home. puking in laundry basket.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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