she looked like the bat from fern gully.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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