My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
