yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
