i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
