shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Congratulations! We have a period
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
