I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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