I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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