You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
