I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
