Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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