I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
