Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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