Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
