Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
What a dumb baby whore.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
