Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
