so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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