i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
