3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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