we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
