if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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