I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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