She said her name was "party"
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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