We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Dignity is for republicans.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize