she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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