with your own penis?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize