One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
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