We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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