We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
