dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
