If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
True strength comes from lack of pants
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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