Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
