I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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