somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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