He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
