But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Randomize
