I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
