Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
