So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
