she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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