you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
