consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I forget how to act sober
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